HOKA HEY: AN EPIC MOTORCYCLE ADVENTURE

IT'S ON....AGAIN

2010-08-31T15:25:00.001-07:00

IT'S ON....AGAIN

I just got an email last night that its on again. Hoka Hey 2011 will happen August 20th of next year. This time the route will go from San Diego to Glace Bay in Nova Scotia.

2 divisions this time. 1 will be HD and those that try and copy that style. The other one is every other bike manufacturer.

The prize pool will be 1 million dollars. The way it will work:

Each division runs the same route, but compete only against their division, and within that, the top 25 finishers in each division will get paid.

To eliminate the biggest problem with this years run, everyone will be required to wear a gps tracking unit that will capture the route to ensure no cheaters.

Yes, I am in.

So Hoka Hey....at least one more time.

More to come.

And The Winner Is...

2010-07-05T19:20:00.000-07:00

Well, we don't know yet, but they are getting weeded out as we speak. The winner should be announced at Sturgis and Chris is still in the running for it! What an amazing weekend in Homer, Alaska.

2010-07-03T10:19:00.000-07:00

2010-07-03T10:15:00.000-07:00

and more

2010-07-03T10:08:00.001-07:00

more from alaska to homer.

2010-07-03T10:02:00.000-07:00

Pictures from the Al Can Highway....

2010-07-03T09:56:00.001-07:00

Homer, not Home

2010-07-03T08:31:00.000-07:00

I am here. Homer. Is it priceless? Well, here is what I know. I know that when I rolled in yesterday at about 2am, I was the 81st person to show. I was as cold and tired as I remember ever being.

Way too tired, wet, and on the verge of a crash. I didn't care though....I remember thinking if I hit a moose on the way in, and I am going to ride him in. Either way, I get to Homer now. To be sure, I didn't know where I was going, just Homer, the spit, you'll see the finish. I did, and there was one lady there to take my picture. One to check my mileage, and a little building I could go in and have some coffee etc.

81st.

81st?

What? How can that be? Please explain.

"Well, you are the 81st person to arrive on a bike with your slip....but probably not the 9

81st finisher."

I said ok, but what does that mean?

A gentleman with the Hoka hey then told me I was probably the 10th legit rider to show. The rest of them had cut off the route. He then told me they had a list of people with the correct mileage and documentation. That was the list I was just added to.

So, I wanted to scream at them...Why are you counting the others at all? Why aren't you saying to them good for you, nice bike ride, now go away....you don't count?

I don't know folks....seems right, even now. At the time, I was really upset by it. You have to understand, I have pushed myself as many have, to the absolute brink here. Trying to make sure that what I did, counted. What I did was right, and the route I took was in its entirety correct.

To now be told that other than the first couple guys....which we all know did not win, I am just being counted as a finisher.....along with all the rest who just went on a ride. Very unhappy.

Now, I am trying to recover. I got in at 2am, and couldn't get the people on the horn that I had reservations with. So, I got a room at another place, but they could only let me stay for 6 hours....which was a total rip off, and I still had to pay the full fair.

I packed my tired butt up then around 11am yesterday, and went to my hotel.

I ate, dumped piles of shit off my bike, called my kids, went to bed.

It is now Saturday I think. I am going to go to the finish line area, see if I can find someone to bring the bike back to the lower 48. I am going to look for a ride....split gas, or find a plane ticket out of here. I know I am screwed until Monday or Tuesday, but Homer ain't home.

With that said, if the sun comes out, I will be curious to see the town. Right now it looks like the skies I have seen since Anchorage.

Alaska is a huge place. Stunning. And Chick....McKinley stuck its head out while I rode through! How lucky am I?

Anyway, going to go find a razor.....coffee....and a laundromat.

Post again soon.

Made It!

2010-07-02T15:11:00.001-07:00

In Homer! Full disclosure coming soon...after sleep.

UPDATE!

2010-07-01T19:18:00.000-07:00

In Denali, can't see from the road. Maybe we should ride up to see it? Think we should consider it. Half way to Anchorage...then another four hours to Homer. Started day in destruction bay. Rode the al can a hundred miles an hour...just to say I did. It's a twisted up piece of taffy. Dangerous road. Running hard.

DAY 12

2010-07-01T10:15:00.000-07:00

TOK, ALASKA

Riding to Homer today, will be there sometime tonight. It is some tough riding up here. Will tell all when I get in. Still in the running according to all reports.

2010-06-30T17:12:00.000-07:00

Chris is still out of cell service. I did get a quick email from him that said he was ok, but that was it. As soon as I know more I'll let you all know!

Alaska Here I Come!

2010-06-29T12:59:00.000-07:00

In Dawson Creek, known as The Zero City because this is where you enter the Alaskan Highway. Clicking off miles, will check in later.

Oh Canada...

2010-06-29T10:52:00.001-07:00

Riding through Canada is stunning. Absolutely STUNNING! I will post photos soon as I am riding to Whitehorse today and if I still feel this good I'll continue on to Fairbanks. There are reports of two winners, I know for a fact that they did not follow the exact same route that I have, that is all there is to say about that. This is a challenge though, and all of us who are riding it and crossing in Homer will have our own personal goals met and our own bragging rights, but as they say, it's not over till the fat man crosses the finish line...or something like that :)

Photos from Checkpoint 4 at Montana Harley-Davidson, Missoula, MT

2010-06-28T07:18:00.001-07:00

More From The Road...

2010-06-28T06:31:00.000-07:00

Random Photos...

2010-06-28T06:24:00.000-07:00

And I Want To Thank...

2010-06-27T19:31:00.001-07:00

Made it home today and I just can't put into words how much more it meant to me than I thought it would. You know how you watch the Academy Awards and you want to see who the winners are and you want to hear what they say...that one majical moment when somebody says something significant:
Came into town off of 200 just off the interstate and Chick Beckley is coming down the road on his motorcycle and he says to me, Chris! I was just coming to see if you were here!
Coming into the parking lot I received a warm reception. Thank you. I want to thank all of you who came out to greet me, my hug from Ramona, hand shakes from Jake and Jared...I don't want to forget anyone! Thank you Todd for getting me soap! Kalen for fixing my helmets and intercoms. I want to thank service, Luke, Grant, Todd, Kalen, Bill, Ray, Arland, Doug, Mike, and Ernie!
Mike Riley, thank you!
God if I'm forgetting you please forgive me!
Jake who sold a Roadglide to a rider named Russell who was on the brink of throwing in the towell when his bike broke down today and the airport and his wife back home starting calling to him. Jake went to Julia and said we have to make this happen for this guy so he can finish this race.
Arland who brought shop towels to dry off with...its the little things you know. I could barley walk and he's helping me get shit off of my bike. Thank you.
You guys honor me so much for doing so much. Jerry, Kelcee, Larry, Ramona, Kris, Mike H, Steve, Emily, Jess. Julia for selling the shit out of Ducati underwear to Harley true bloods before our doors were even open.
The separating factor between MTHD and the last three HD shops has been our people. Everyone has come up to me and thanked me for such a great store! And it is all of you, those who stayed late, came early, mike, Julia...coming in because you loved the people who were in this and realized what an epic adventure this really is. You know, there are less than 60 competitive riders still in this to win and I am one of them and that is so cool. And there is no way that I could have done it without you guys. Doug the tires are great and it is running better than ever and I am riding this hwy tonight feeling like I could win...feeling like a winner already. So I want to thank you.
Thank my children, I know you are not used to seeing your dad cry but it was so great to see you and you are so beautiful and thank you Darla for taking such good care of our kids while I am gone.
I know I could not have done this without the support behind me...there has been thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars spent by riders to purchase support teams and I am a blessed man that my team of supporters is all of you, and worth your weight in Alaskan gold!
Thank you again Jeff, my Montana connection in Florida...he made a huge difference for me. Ride safe my friend as you travel back home this week.
I feel like I am a better person than who I was, and I don't know if that can be attributed to the motorcycle ride or the sleep deprivation, maybe Ill wake up in Homer the same asshole that I was, but maybe not.
I am riding for all of you...and to quote the great Bette Midler, "You are the wind beneath my wings."
lol

Day 8!

2010-06-27T19:24:00.001-07:00

So we are thrilled to report that Chris arrived safe and exhausted this afternoon! With the rumble of his pipes, he rode into Montana HDs parking lot accompanied by his new buddy Alan on a Fatboy, and our very own Chick Beckley, who was riding his Heritage down to the dealership to see if Chris had arrived yet and pulled up along side of him down the road! Thank you Chick for your enthusiasm and support for Chris throughout this challenge.
I also want to mention our new friends from Hoka Hey, Mark Brodie and Robin, who have been with us at the shop for the last three days checking in riders, answering questions, and generally directing traffic. They are volunteers, kindred spirits from Texas and Arizona, who are taking the same time away from their lives as the riders are to be part of this challenge...even if they are traveling by truck :)
Chris was greeted by friends and family of MTHD who all gathered in the parking lot to welcome him home. He was dazed, hadn't slept since the Grand Canyon, over 2000 miles back! He slept outside on the sidewalk against the building for a few hours, got his bike serviced in the order he came in by our amazing service department that has spent the last few days going above and beyond for these riders and wrenching on bikes until 2am last night to get them back on the road safely in record time! Exceptional job guys!

Around 9 or so Chris rode out towards the border.

Sincere condolences and well wishes to all the fallen challengers. Chris, Alan, and the rest of you amazing men and women, ride hard, travel safe, and live in the moment...it is truly an epic adventure you are on!

ARDUOUS EFFORT...Helena to home...and then on to Homer!

2010-06-27T08:22:00.000-07:00

Chris is riding slower than he anticipated through the last few hundred miles into Missoula. He was in Helena about ten minutes ago, stopping every ten miles or so in a struggle to stay awake and continue through. He was riding with two others since the Black Hills, after stopping solo to meet 96 year old Chief RedCloud at his house for lunch yesterday. One of the two riders he was with dropped back late last night and we are unsure where he is. This puts Chris about 100 miles out, tired hell yes, but more determined than ever!

See you soon Chris!

TODAY IS THE DAY...CJ WILL BE HALF WAY!

2010-06-27T07:14:00.000-07:00

Everyone! Chris will be arriving this morning sometime right around 10am. Come on down and cheer him on, congratulate him, shake his hand and watch as the riders head out towards their next checkpoint in Fairbanks Alaska!

DAY 7!

2010-06-26T11:24:00.000-07:00

In another hour and a half as Chris turns back towards MT from SD, he will have been on a twenty-four hour mission...to ride the last 2000 miles into Missoula with no stops except to gas up. Chris grew up in SD and has ridden Montana's back roads for the last several years, so he feels good and is excited to get back here. As he gets closer I'll let everyone know his ETA.

I'm In a Video Game...Aren't I?

2010-06-25T14:16:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a rough one. At one point I had to pull over, body shaking from dehydration and fatigue, to have a reality check-in with myself after feeling for hours that I must be trapped inside a video game. No worries, I wasn't. I slept along side the Grand Canyon, the night was very cool. Today I feel better and am riding hard and making up miles that I lost while sleeping hard to make up for hours of sleep lost while riding.

What Everyone Wants to Know...when will he be here?

2010-06-25T08:09:00.000-07:00

Chris spent the night along the Southern Rim of the Grand Canyon late last night. He'll ride on through to the third checkpoint at Flaming Gorge HD in Rock Springs WY and from there I haven't been able to tell what their route will be to MTHD, some reports coming in now that they will go through SD. I will know more later today or early this evening but as far as I can tell we will see a few riders today, many riders tomorrow and even more throughout Sunday. Chris should be here sometime tomorrow I think. Will keep you all posted so you can come on down and cheer him and the other adventurers on!

The first Hoka Hey Challenge rider just checked in, however he disqualified himself on leg two because his map flew off in the middle of the night and he had no idea where he was and had to use his GPS. Way to go Jeffrey from Ohio! An extremely gracious man. He is loving his cross-country (ies) adventure. His plan is to continue riding up through Canada and will be crossing the finish line with the rest of the riders in Homer. He was very proud of his Hoka Hey coin and his gorgeous Slate Black FLHTCUSE5!

2010-06-24T15:22:00.000-07:00

2010-06-24T15:21:00.000-07:00

2010-06-24T15:20:00.000-07:00

2010-06-24T13:42:00.000-07:00

A Long Hard Ride...

2010-06-24T12:03:00.000-07:00

Day 5: Nothing but heat and two lane roads. I'm averaging just over 800 miles a day which has me within about ten hours of the leaders. It is getting hard. Eyes are seeing numbers all over the road all the time. Very tired. Shooting for Wyoming. Talk soon.

Day Four:

2010-06-23T16:55:00.000-07:00

As of 5:45pm Missoula time, Chris was in Taos NM on his way to Farmington where he plans to stop for a few hours and sleep. He's been riding hard and by all accounts that we can find, he is right up there within several hours of the leaders. Many reports about riders dropping out and several more accidents and disqualifications, at this point just cyber rumors but probably more truth to them then not. He'll post again when he stops, but as of now, all is good.

Update...as far as we can tell!

2010-06-23T13:46:00.000-07:00

CJ is in the zone today. He feels good and has ridden through the strong winds of New Mexico and should be in Arizona by now. His last report said that it was beautiful, so it seems as though he is having one of those riding days that we all remember fondly and hope for the next time we get in the saddle. Next checkpoint will be in Wyoming.

So lets talk about Sex for a while

2010-06-22T16:59:00.000-07:00

Doesn't that make you wanna read it? Maybe even first huh. Don't know if anyone is reading this, or cares....but thank you to those that are helping me get stuff posted....so appreciate it. Also thank you to everyone who despite asking to have no texts sent, continue to offer up words of encouragement. It is a damn hard ride. I won't lie, I wasn't excited today....at first. But just like every time I go out, it is sheer enjoyment.

I don't know what I will find out here....maybe nothing. Maybe I will simply do the race, be done with it, and occasionally remember that I did it. I know that with any amount of "Yeah, I'm gonna frame that.", it won't happen. So...perhaps it fades away like trying to remember what your prom dates name was....Jen? Casey?

Anyway, just liked the title...no sex to discuss. We talk about that too much anyway. Sex is one of those things that should involve less discussion and more doing.

I am going to tell you however that I know more about HD bikes than you do. All of you. I know what one will do well, and what it won't. Those of you "mechanical" types just comb your hair back down...I mean no disrespect. You can know more about how the engine works, and how the knee bone connects to the elbow.

Ok, here it is.

There is no need for a 6th gear. Now I know some of you are bristling, so listen up. The way the 6th gear is set up in the big twins makes it worthless....if it was different, maybe. But, it does not cool the engine. Period. It does not get you better gas mileage. Period. It has less accelerating power than a push mower. Facts all.

Now, before you start arguing, remember....I have really ridden this bike.... a lot. I have already done more miles this week than most of you will do this year, and some of you in a lifetime. So, not bragging, but I know what I am saying.

If you want to argue it being cooler, maybe....but seriously, its not enough to matter. If you want to argue mileage, you are going to have to prove it to me....to actually prove it, it will cost you money....but if you can prove it, I will retract. If you want to argue the power.....get real.

HD does some things well, and some things not so well. Take 6th gear as an example. I know you all think its so dreamy.....but I am telling you, I wont use it again on this journey. Now you think about that before you insist you must have it. But what they do well, is touring. You co-owners (meaning BMW or Ducati, or Honda etc) as well as HD need to pay attention here. Your bikes do some things better than anyone else. But on the topic of capable all around best road bikes made for touring, there is HD. No Beemer freaks.....it ain't you. I too have owned them, and yes they are good at some things....but this is HD's country. I know you will likely post some 52 page opinion as to why a BMW is better....but just don't ok? I don't really care to argue with you. You're wrong, I'm right. Just live with it. It's not that bad.

Ok, one final note, and I am going to bed......

It,s 7:23pm here.

Where is here? Far eastern edge of Oklahoma.

I will sleep until 10 or so, and ride all night.

Headed to the Grand Canyon, then up to Wyoming.

2,780 something miles on this leg of the journey.

No, I won't be checking in today. Probably not tomorrow either....but I am feisty sometimes.....maybe.

The South is so good for the Soul, and bad for the feet. Part TWO

2010-06-22T16:29:00.000-07:00

So I love certain things about the South. I love that I drove past Graceland today. I know most of you are saying "whatever", but it has nothing to do with whether or not you like EP. The fact is Graceland is holier ground than most churches to people.....think about it. Plus, there are very few things or people as iconic and American as the King. Enough said.

While weaving through Bama yesterday, I came to a cross roads in the middle of no where. Think Roundup people. Anyway, there is nothing around, but a small old building that used to be a service station, with the old gas pumps, where someone in white clothes (no doubt in Alabama that someone was black), would come running out, check your oil, wash your windows while filling the tank. Why yes sir Missa Johnson....it is a fine day fo sho.

This place now is called Alberts Groceries. Its slow going in these hills, so I was maybe only rolling at 45 or so. I got a good look as I disappeared back into the forest....Albert had a sign on the door. It said Back Later. It was in marker, and was hung at an angle. Only thing to make that sign perfect was to have the k backward. Out front, Albert had a piece of cardboard that had pricing for the snake skins he had hanging around.

BTW...Market price is what you'll pay for a copperhead over 3 feet. I had to ask myself a couple things.

1. Other than Albert, who determined the market price? It was the middle of no where, and I am quite certain there isnt a snake skin trade so robust that it has daily trade pricing. Its probably based on how hard Albert had to work to kill that sucker.

2. The second thing I thought was: "Good for you Albert! Entrepreneurs Unite!"

I so love the accents...they are all very different. Example: "Ha Hun...you wan a wata? Itz dang hot huh."

But then, I ran into this old fella sitting at a table smoking at this little gas station. He had to be 132 years old, and he had a German Shepard with him that looked to be the same. He eyeballs me as I stop for gas. We exchange greetings...he inquires "fo hin dats way up huh?"

I stand there, and start filling the tank, and say yep...sure is.

I have no idea what this man is saying to me, but now he is talking....its straight BBThorton doing slingblade, only worse. I don't even now care the words....I am listening to him tell me: "um hum, sho do like dem taters um hum."

Yep, the Southerners are generous with their words, are usually much more polite than we are up north. It would be perfect, but I don't know what the fuck they are saying down here! Its like getting up and washing your mouth out with marbles....and leaving them in. You gotta do work. And yet, I wanna shoot them a phrase that would help them know I stand in solidarity...something good like: " So's it fixin to rain you think?"

The South is so good for the Soul, and bad for the feet.

2010-06-22T16:14:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone-

Sorry I haven't been on lately, here it is from my mouth.

UPDATE:

I ended up in Southhaven last night. I have no idea what that means, until I am there. Huge dealership. Yet another Rossmeyer shop. Say what you want, but Big Bruce had serious money!

But they were so good to us. It was slightly more than 900 miles from our last checkpoint, but how we got there, well that's yet to come. First though, let me say thank you to Teena there. She helped me get boots that were dry, and a pair of socks. I love her forever now. Anyway, they stayed open all night to accept riders. A grill cooking dogs and burgers, 2 huge jugs of icy water, and a fan and towels.....sounds dumb, but what a delight.

I finally got there after a grueling day of riding....back and forth through the Georgia, Alabama and Mississippi countryside. For those of you that know....its more than you think.

For those that don't, you have to see it to understand.

These little blacktop county roads would be the equivalent of paving all the Plum Creek trails in Montana....going everywhere....up, down, back, and back again. Narrow and very difficult to follow.

I was about to lose my marbles somewhere in Alabama....hotter and wetter than I remember ever being, and it dawned on me that I needed to run my race....calm down, do what I do. I knew I was close to the dealership....I had already traveled over 800 miles....it helped. So I focused, and got down to getting there.

Got hung up by an unmarked road, that took me 3 locals to find.

At about 9pm, I arrived. Tended my leg, which is truly going to become a scar that will always remind me....just trying to keep it from infection. It hurts like hell, has no scab now at all as its always wet from humidity or sweat. Once done with that, I hung my clothes all over the bike....trying to dry them, then layed down on the asphalt right by the bike and tried to sleep. It was about 1am by the time I was ready, and there were many support crews still waiting for their riders to show. I think I drifted off around 3. Pain in my leg, hot asphalt, skeeters....all conspiring agains me.

I slept 2 hours, got up, brushed my teeth for the first time since Sunday, and hit it. 6am departure.

SECOND CHECKPOINT...CHECK!

2010-06-21T20:02:00.001-07:00

Alabama is finally behind Chris...THANK GOD! I have been reading 20+ newspaper articles from around the country that have picked up the challenge since it began two days ago. The most disturbing, of course, are those reporting three crashes involving four bikes yesterday, two men from Alaska, one from New York, and one from British Columbia. It is an exciting adventure for sure, but make no mistake, it is also a dangerous one. These men, and women I hear, are pushing themselves beyond their limits, depriving themselves of sleep, food, and even time out to answer nature's call.

He's at a dealership somewhere in Mississippi, the second checkpoint.

I think he'll post soon.

Hoka Hey Is Making Headlines!

2010-06-21T19:54:00.000-07:00

Google search 'hoka hey updates'

Called It A Day...Finally.

2010-06-20T21:20:00.000-07:00

Day 1: 17 1/2 hours of riding

Pulled off the road with 4 or 5 other riders, a rinky little gas station in the middle of somewhere none of us have heard of. There's a small awning to keep the rain at bay and the night is as black as an ace of spades. He'll sleep there for a couple of hours, two, maybe three. No sleeping bag, no pad, no tent.

I GAVE MY CAMPING GEAR TO THE SEMINOLE INDIANS

2010-06-20T18:33:00.000-07:00

At sunrise I left the Keys excited and happy to finally be going. After the obligatory 2 hours to go 80 miles, which is how long it takes to get out there, I found myself on the pennisula. The warning to go the speed limit apparently did not sink in as I saw many motorcycles pulled over on the side of the road. After a series of rights and lefts I found myself in the middle of the Everglades, which if you haven't been it is a must do. After leaving the Everglades I entered the Land of the Seminoles where I donated my camping gear due to a loose strap. As I write this I'm still riding, unable to stick to my plan of ten hours on two hours off as the map itself is harder than Chinese algebra and I feel obligated to keep going. Entering Georgia, keep you posted.

THANK YOU JEFF HEALY

2010-06-20T16:45:00.000-07:00

Thank you Jeff Healy! Jeff not only road his brand new Ducati Multistrada purchased several days ago at Montana Harley-Davidson Ducati all the way to Key West to hang out, fish, and eat tuna with Chris, but he also shopped for lost baggage essentials, has been documenting the trip and preparation, and keeping us posted on what was happening in Florida as Hoka Hey got under way. So...here's to you Jeff Healy, enjoy not working for a month :)

FIRST LEG OF THE RACE IN THE REAR VIEW

2010-06-20T16:29:00.000-07:00

Bruce Rossmeyer's Harley-Davidson in Daytona was the first Hoka Hey check point. 614 miles from Key West and 13 hours of difficult navigating, Chris checked in, grabbed a burger, dressed his oozing wound, and was back on the road as the sun was begining to fall away. His boots were already soaked and he's heading into a tornado warning announced earlier today. He's planning on riding through the night. The next check point is about 1100 miles and he will post later.
Safe riding Chris!

AND THEY'RE OFF!!

2010-06-20T06:28:00.000-07:00

Lined up at 5:15 am, about ten bikes from the back of the line. There were those that had been in line since 2 am! But at the end of Key West there is no where to go but out the way you came in and with every single biker starting at the same time (can you believe that) it was a wise choice to line up at the back of the pack.

He's out of Key West now and rolling through the Everglades on his first leg of the race, 614 miles to the check-in point. It's hot and sticky, his luggage never showed and his leg has not healed. All that said, Chris feels great today. The start of the race, the rumble of hundreds of bikes packed closely together, the smell of exhaust and the sea, and the anticipation of the road ahead has taken over. He's in that place that all of us who love to ride know well, and those who don't dream of understanding.

Tomorrow they ride....

2010-06-19T19:51:00.000-07:00

So, seven hours from now Chris will line up with hundreds of other Harley riders at the southern most point in the US. There, at 6:00 am Florida time, he will ride out along the ocean as the sun rises. Needless to say the last few days have not been as smooth as we all hoped, but now, as he struggles to sleep buzzing with excitment and nerves, he is ready. I know this not only because he told me so, but because he has always been ready for a ride like this. So keep him in your thoughts and your prayers everyone! He will post along the way, and if he can't, we will.

and more

2010-06-19T00:38:00.001-07:00

more pics

2010-06-19T00:29:00.000-07:00

more pics

2010-06-19T00:21:00.000-07:00

random photos....from airport hell thru duvall street.

2010-06-19T00:06:00.000-07:00

Someone call Flannigan's and tell them Scooterville is NOT under the green awning

2010-06-18T12:47:00.000-07:00

Yes my followers, scooterville is Key West. The whole island. Full of 'em. Young ones, old ones fat ones skinny ones.....they all drive scooters. Almost sounds like an ad doesn't it?

So that little place on Russell? Yeah, not so much. But they probably already knew that.

So Key West, other than scooters is awesome. Truly love it here, and I am already looking at property. Other than sticky southern humidity, its always warm, little breeze, sunshine with an occasional Island burst that cools it down. I ate fresh fish on the dock....yeah, that kind of fresh, in a place call the Shrimp Shak. It is a building on the fishing harbor, that processes the catches of the day....off on the side is a little grill. You just tell them what you want, and grab a table on the dock. Awesome.

The Southern Most Hotel that I am at is nice, and out my door is the pool area....very nice, and a restaurant. Across the street is the Southern Most Point in the US. A big marker there. It says its 90 miles to Cuba from there. Miami is further.

I just spent the day registering my bike, doing the tech inspection, going to the airport to find my luggage....which is still missing, and am now back at the room writing this update, charging my phone, loving the A/C.

I don't want to get back into the disaster it was getting here, but If I told you that 3 times I got moved to different planes, had my seats cancelled mid-flight by another Chris Johnson that was flying exactly the same time on the same flight, but a different destination, and that my 10 hour flight took me 22.5 hours to finish, that should suffice. This in a nutshell is why my luggage is missing also.

But a very nice lady at the Key West airport named Genie has my cell number, and she is finding that bag.

Speaking of bags:

Do not try and get a golden haze to your skin. In fact, stay so white your clear. Really. For every hottie (gender not important), there is 2 bags. Meaning, too bags of wrinkled, saggy brown skin walking around. It really takes the edge off paying a premium for property. Thing is, and girls listen....they are not all old. Many of them I would call at 40 tops.

Yet they are bags. Yuck.

Ok, enough rambling....I have a bike to pack. I am counting on my final piece of luggage making to today, but either way I need to redo the bike and prep it. There is a party tonight on Duvall for the riders, but I am opting for a dinner on the pier where everyone gathers to watch the sun set each night. I am told there is always like music, and its a good local flavor. I know how bikers party, and like you, I pass.

Did I mention my leg

2010-06-17T20:00:00.000-07:00

Ok, So there is also this problem with my leg. I slid into second base on Sunday trying to be a hero. Yeah, I was safe, but a significant price paid. Although the scrape looks bad, its worse than that. I have a legitimately infected raw hunk of meat, and I am now concerned. i am going to see what a lot of sunshine will do for it tomorrow. This picture is from day one. The one from today is worse.

Oh, and I did finally make it to Key West. 8pm tonight. Met Jeff at Peterson's HD, which I have to tell you is a great family owned dealership. Super helpful. I take my hat off to you Mr. Peterson. You run a great shop.

It took 4 hours to ride to the keys from Miami however. its 45 mph the whole way, so it makes 150 miles into a long distance.

Anyway, will write the whole story tomorrow. But I am here, and my luggage is still not, but I just ate some awesome sushi, and I am happy now.

I haven't gotten very far.

2010-06-17T02:21:00.000-07:00

I swear to you, at 3:21AM, 12 hours after leaving Missoula, I am no further than Vegas. By the time I leave this town, I could have ridden here. Truth.

Remember the Ashcroft comments?

Hurting me now.

I don't know if its actually him, but its like your house burning on Christmas....you can't help but wonder at least for a moment if it isn't payback for something.

So I got rerouted to Salt Lake at 6pm. Delayed there until 10pm. Finally caught a ride, and only needed to roll away 3 hours. But wait....a twist.

Some dim blonde was talking to me about blah blah blah, and I didn't hear what the lady announced about the flight I was to catch at 1am. Finally she shut up about how awesome she was, and I heard them say zone 1 can now board.

Super! I gotta be zone 1 right....I mean, I did get upgraded to 1st class the whole way. (I truly am magical sometimes what I can get done). So I go up, they scan my card....buzzzzz! Frowning.

I ask whats up, and I am told that seat is taken, so talk to this guy right here. So, I talk to him...he says "weird, your seat was reassigned between Salt Lake and here, but no problem, I will put you in 4C....still first class." He smiles, I smile. On I go.

On the plane, I turn the corner at the door, dying to slide into my big leather chair and sleep, and see way more people than seats.

The waitress (which lets me honest, that's what she is) says to me: "Hummm hun, there is no seat available, why don't you go back up and ask them again." She smiles, I sneer. Wish I had really bad gas, or could muster one of those burps that makes you turn your head suddenly as though you just saw someones ass crack in isle 3.

So I go back to guy at top of runway.....weave through the smiling people that are quite certain now they have a seat since I clearly ain't gettin one.

Guy smiles. "Really? You know, I should have checked before I sent you down there!".

All I hear him saying to me is: "Kill me and eat me! I taste like chicken!"

20 mins later, and help from a non-union employee, and I got free airfare world wide, two 20 dollar meal vouchers, a direct flight from here to Miami non-stop in first class, getting me in a mere 2 hours later than the second fuck up.

So now....2pm I am supposed to be on the ground in Miami....lets hope I don't hit the ground.

Either this is a bad sign, or I am getting all the crap out right away. Tomorrow will tell the story.

BTW - you would be amazed at how little anyone does at 3am in the airport. The all have brooms and stuff, but they don't move.

2010-06-16T21:05:00.000-07:00

another thing about airports then I will stop

2010-06-16T20:38:00.000-07:00

There are these electric golf carts that run people around the airport....you've seen them if you've been anywhere. Most of them tool along, quietly saying excuse me, or car on your left. But I have listened to this robust woman drive this one car up and down this corridor for the last 3 hours screaming: " ELECTRIC CAR COMING THROUGH, CAR COMING THROOOOUGH!!!"

I can't imagine working here daily hearing this. I bet at least one employee here has woke in a cold sweat hearing that voice.

And I will go to hell for saying this, but there are some damned sorry looking people in this world. I am not talking the walmart look, although, that's fashion statement is pervasive. No, I am talking about people that if you sharpened their teeth, they would pass as Gollum. Swear to God. And it's not any particular race....I have seen all kinds of Gollums....a little Phillipino Gollum damn near made me run.

It also struck me how funny it is watching people with their shit. All the shit we carry around, and keep so close to us in the airport for fear someone might touch it accidentally, and we would be forced to report them as terrorists....and then the TSA again. So we run around clutching all this shit. Which, is maybe ok, until you get to the rest room. I watched a line of guys trying to figure out how to put their bags around their necks without choking, while balancing their laptops on their heads, praying out loud that it not drop and hit the floor. Because of course, not only are they standing in someone elses urine, they themselves are adding too it because of the strangling that's occuring from the bag around their neck. I tell you, true chaos.

Ok, I am now 10 mins from boarding a plane....I hope. I have my ONE bag (me being unwilling to drop something in the restroom....I check my bags), and its full of what I need to entertain myself for the next 4 hours in Vegas.

Wish me luck.....

So today is the day, and it hasn't lived up to the hype

2010-06-16T20:00:00.000-07:00

So today I left Missoula....about 5 hours ago actually, and I am sitting in the SLC airport waiting. After a day of fun with the kids, a trip to the casino, and a lot of help from a friend, I finally got packed by the middle of the day today. Focused and ready for my red eye to Miami.

First encounter of course is the TSA. For those of you that know....here is my rant.

I hate the TSA.

Created under the Bush administration, blessed by the Congress, this governmental organization has created a state of insanity in travel.

Example: Missoula airport: 4:15pm. I am in line. An insanely long line....waiting while they are hand patting down a woman who must have been 70. Everyone waited while this was done. Now I know its not this way everywhere, but seriously, I wanted a coffee. I stood there, one in a long line of shoeless white guys just trying to get on a plane. Guys unlacing work boots that don't do much work, and relacing during stories of how awesome the Nascar race was last weekend. I am sick. Just want a coffee.

I got my Liquid Planet, just in time to get on board a quick little flight to Vegas. Gonna have a couple hours there, then sleep all night into Miami.

But I am here in Salt Lake, going on hour 3. Not sure where my checked bag is gonna be, or on what airline. We got grounded here for some reason, and the plane we needed didn't show. So now I am waiting to get a 20 min flight to Vegas, where I will wait until 2 am for a plane to take me to magical Memphis Tenn. Where I will wait for 3 hours to catch a plane that will take me to Miami. Which, if all goes right means I can get to my bike by 2pm tomorrow....hopefully with a bag.

I know its a stretch....but somehow I think this is John Ashcrofts fault. Idiot.

Its getting close now

2010-06-11T16:27:00.000-07:00

Today I watched it rain. Again. The rain's been seeping into the collective soul of Missoula I think....making everything about living here rather damp. I cant help but want to leave now. Hear the quite that comes with the twist of the throttle. Feel my body change as I brace it against the wind, and focus on the job of riding. For anyone that hasn't done long distance riding, this is the best way I can describe it. You must remain focused, and yet relaxed enough to survive the hours of punishment that you are subjected too. Its much like life I guess. "Keep your eye on the ball kido!" WHACK or Whiff. Choices get simple.....ride or crash.
It is terrifying and thrilling at the same time. You can disappear into that one act. All the world washes away and you are a rider. Going harder and further than you should. I guess that's the draw for me. Doing what I shouldn't do, and having no choice but to push forward.
I have decided I am going to win it, and with that decision, there is no choice.
I am going to dream about it a little tonight I think. If you're gonna give your heart to something, best it be something you can smile at. Makes it so much more pleasant don't you think?
The race is starting to cast its long shadow now. I can feel the excitement of the riders....and I can hear their hearts longing for it. Soon its a good day to ride.

A final ride told me a lot

2010-06-08T09:45:00.001-07:00

This is a picture that I took as I rolled back from Vegas a couple weeks ago. I took that trip as a final tune up ride with the bike. For those of you that don't know, Missoula to Vegas is just a touch under a thousand miles. So, I took some video, that unfortunately is too large to upload....hence, the one picture.

I thought Vegas appropriate distance to ride in one day. Leaving Missoula, it was 22 degrees out. Needless to say, I got a chance to check out the heated grips and the vest that I use. All works, but not enough to keep me warm in those temps!

Anyway, this picture was taken on the return ride, shot outside Mesquite NV, on my way to Cedar City UT. Its about 8am. Gotta love Nevada.

Time to thank a few

2010-05-31T11:01:00.000-07:00

Good Memorial Day to you all. As I sit here reading emails, waiting for my kids to get up and come hike the M, I am reminded of those that have helped me since I decided to attempt this crazy thing, and I want to thank them.

First of all, there is a group of men/women out of north eastern washington that have not only been customers of mine for years now, but truly have become good friends, and people I can rely on. When I mentioned this race to them, they were the first ones to come to me with a monitary donation, and one simple request. Please put a sticker on your bike to support the Honor and Remember Flag that they are supporting to become a Nationally recognized flag. Please, if you read this blog and take nothing else from it, visit this site: http://www.honorandremember.org/

This is not another organization looking for a handout, or asking you to be politically patriotic. Go to the site, decide for yourself. As for me, on the top center of the trunk on the Glide is a large bumper sticker supporting this organization.

Bill, DJ, Ralph.....thank you guys. Can't say enough how much I respect our friendship, and enjoy your company.

Secondly, I would like to thank Mike Riley of Lucky Bail Bonds in the Bitterroot Valley of

Western MT. Most of you won't know his name, and certainly won't need his services. But Mike is one of the most passionate, and committed individuals I have ever met.....and perhaps one of the toughest. As soon as he heard I was doing this, he came to me and said: "fuck man, that's awesome." He wants to go. And not disclosing too much, the fact that Mike is alive today is more than amazing. Over the past couple months he has given me advice on distance riding, nutrition, and the spirit of never say die. He was the first one to hand me a hundo, and has handed me a number of them since. All he says is "gas ain't cheap." Thank you Mike. I ride for you as well.

My good friend Clint, whom I have ridden across this great nation with more than once has been a great resource, and a constant think tank for what I am missing. He was intending to do the challenge as well, and just the other day decided it is beyond his physical ability to do this anymore. My friend, I will miss you on this ride. And I will do my best for you.

There are so many that have given me encouraging words. Support of the heart and mind is powerful stuff. I thank you: mom and dad, Nate, Betty and Gary, Julia, Eddie, Chris, Phil, Steve O, T dubs, Landshark, Lindsey, Jared, my kids and the countless others that have offered up words of encouragement.

Thank you to Doug Woodahl, owner of MTHD for sponsoring my entry to this event. If I have it in me to finish, I have it in me to try and finish first. Would love to bring home that gift to share with you all, but especially with him.

Anyway, that's a lot of mushy stuff. There are others I know....but I am sitting here listening to my kids fight over the leftovers, so my mind is now wandering.

Thank you all.

So the bike is gone now.

2010-05-28T14:13:00.000-07:00

A couple days ago, the bike went on a truck. Its ready for the journey, and I was more excited than I have been to watch it go. Its a validation that it is happening....soon. The bike is ready for the journey.
Thank you so much to Mike and Kalen for spearheading the mods that I wanted. The road glide was nice when I got it traded in from my good friend Adam....but needed a few more things. Had Russell build me a nice seat, added some power points, a tank bag, HID lighting, and a few other goodies that I felt were necessary.
I even packed the majority of my stuff on it. All I need when I jump the plane for Miami is a bag with my clothes in it. So I am feeling very confident right now that the bike is prepared for the journey ahead.

MONTANA HARLEY-DAVIDSON

2010-05-24T15:00:00.000-07:00

Chris Johnson is the GM at Montana Harley-Davidson in Missoula, MT. Nestled in the gorgeous Rocky Mountains of western Montana. Its a short ride away from Yellowstone and Glacier National Parks, and the roads that get you there are just as impressive as you think they are. Montana is a destination, and all roads lead to Montana Harley-Davidson!

ON YOUR MARK...

2010-05-24T12:58:00.000-07:00

Several months ago a poster was sent to our Harley-Davidson dealership, Montana Harley-Davidson in Missoula, Montana. Along with the poster there was an invitation to accept a challenge to ride an air-cooled VTwin Harley Davidson motorcycle from Key West, Florida to Homer, Alaska...over 7000 miles for a chance to win $500,000 in Alaskan gold! Only one winner, only 1000 riders. Two countries and one battle cry, "Hoka Hey", meaning, "It's a good day to die". Crazy Horse's warriors embodied that battle cry, and now the Hoka Hey Challenge has organized a motorcycle endurance race for the true riders, with glory in their guts and adventure in their souls, and their spirits forever in the wind. Hoka Hey asked one question, "Are you a chosen one?"

Chris Johnson, General Manager of Montana Harley-Davidson answered, "HELL YES!!" This Blog is dedicated to his preparation, his ride, his adventure, and his love of motorcycling.

Join us on this epic motorcycle adventure. Chris will post photos, videos, and blogs from the road...Hoka Hey! It's a good day to ride!